Subtlety

I have discovered that one of the reason’s that it may be difficult to remain present consistently is the fact that all of those things, which exist in the deeper and only true reality, are all subtle.  Yet it is those very things that can draw us up out of ourselves into life.
 
An example of this I re-discovered in my work a while back.  One of the things that I do for a living is clean carpet.  The work is repetitive and mundane and it is so easy to become inwardly lost in thought.  As I mentioned the other day, it is often in the mundane that we find our biggest struggle to be present.  As I made my way through the day, my mind wandered along trying to solve this problem and the other and as it did, I experienced an increasing anxiety.  I attempted to implement the tools of simplicity to bring myself into the now, but I was unable.  My mind grasped tenaciously to these foreign thoughts with that old obstinacy that does not respond to the will.  This particular entity that held my thoughts bound was a particularly strong and vexatious one and I was truly suffering. 
 
At one point, an idea came into my mind that helped and gave me a foothold:  “Remember, it’s ok for deliverance to be subtle and small.  Let it be ok for it to be small.”  Upon receiving this idea, I noticed that it was warm in the room and that I was sweating.  I relaxed into the warmth of the room and allowed myself to sense it throughout my body but the sensation was very understated when compared with this violent wave of thoughts.  I allowed that to be ok but I held onto the subtle warmth of the room and the feeling of the warm air as it moved across my face.  At first, it was only a faint understated sensation, but I allowed it to be there with the anxious thoughts.
 
Of course there is always the temptation in these instances to begin thinking about the sensation instead of feeling the sensation and before you know it you are thinking of what a good person you are for feeling warm.  :-) LOL!  But on this particular day, I was given grace in that regard and was able to just let my deliverance be subtle and small.  Within a short time, I was home again within my own consciousness and I could soon see the color of the wood paneling and sense the wonders of the simple life which I was leading.  I went on sensing the movements of that warm air on my face throughout the afternoon and even had the sweet feeling of some cooler breezes as I was moving my equipment outside the house.  The rest of the day was sweet and quiet and wonderful – alive in the beauty of the creation around me – myself, a part of it all.
 
I hope that you find this post helpful.  God bless you all in your journey toward the fields of peace.
 
J.A. McCormick